Casino Jokes

I just won a million dollar slot machine jackpot! I scream tastes cool on a hot day. Add a Useful Link External Links. More like Viva Lost Wages! Old lady Old lady who? Finally the man could not longer hold his tongue so between hands he quietly said to one of the players, "I can't believe that dog is playing poker, he must be the smartest dog in the world! If it weren't for the drug use, degenerate gambling, and drinking I would be a great catch.

Browse New Jokes:

Funny Jokes

I thought you were watching the dice! A businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie.

He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his driver's license number, his address, etc. The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab! One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well, who should he see more A guy went to Las Vegas, and won big, really big, in one of the casinos. When you win big in Vegas the casino will give you free things, like meals, show tickets, or rooms, this is all designed to keep you there so that you will lose what money you have won. After winning fifty thousand dollars at the crap table, the casino decided to give the guy a night in the penthouse suite. The guy went up to the room, opened the big double doors, and stepped into a three room suite.

The room is on a corner of the hotel and two walls are nothing but windows, with a fantastic view of the city. There's a wet bar in one corner, with a big screen T. The guy dropped his bag of money in a chair and stood looking out the windows at the city. Whatever his comp card allows him to. Whats the difference between poker players and politicans? Politicans tell the truth. Whats the difference between online poker and live poker?

You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you. What's the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining. What did a blonde from England bring a bag of french fries to a poker game? Someone told her to bring her own chips. What card game do lesbians play? What do vampires play poker for? Why are most gamblers married?

Because marriage is a gamble. What's the hardest thing about play mini baccarat? Telling your parents your gay! How do you get a professional poker player off your front porch? Pay him for the Pizza. One Liners Love is gambling, not with money but with your heart. You can always get money back, but you might not get your heart back. If it weren't for the drug use, degenerate gambling, and drinking I would be a great catch.

Chuck-E-Cheese, because it's never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling I can support my gambling habit without a job, but I want one so I can support it even more.

Girls are like blackjack, I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on Frank you for being my friend! Wooden shoe like to hear another joke? Justin time for lunch. I knew you were a nut! Olive right next to you. Dishes me, who are you? Luke through the keyhole and you can see!

Leena little closer and I will tell you! Eyesore do like you! Iguana hold your hand. Keith your hands off of me! Disguise is your boyfriend! Juno I love you, right? Stop crying you pussy!

Helda Dick Helda Dick who? I Helda Dick and the wind blew it for me. Lemme see those tits! Anita Dick inside me! Budweiser mother taking her clothes off!

Howie gonna hide this dead body? Some asshole talking to a knock knock joke.

Cheesy Knock Knock Jokes – Cute Knock Knock Jokes – Good Knock Knock Jokes

Leave a Reply